I’m not sure how to
start this post, so… well, I guess I just started it, huh?
I’ve lived a relatively uneventful life the last
forty-years, or so, and yet I’m still surprised at how things change. Maybe
(and I second-guess myself often) it’s taken me four decades to finally realize
how life really is.
Heh, I wonder how I’ll respond to this writing when I’m in
my sixties.
About a year ago, my wife and I (individually, mind you)
realized that we were called to serve in sharing the Gospel overseas. I don’t
put CALLED in quotes because I truly believe in what that word means; we were
driven, for lack of a better word, by God, to serve people in Africa. Sierra
Leone, Africa, specifically. We have been blessed with the opportunity to share
the goodness of His grace with a people that believe very differently than we
do.
We have been given strange and spicy food; yelled at for
being white and privileged; begged by young men on the side of the road that
were missing limbs. It has been an adventure, to say the least. Heck, Kristie
has even been called “whitey” in a native dialect.
Along this, we also feel compelled to bring orphans from the
small country of Sierra Leone into our lives and call them our own. To clarify,
we plan to adopt. We have met numerous obstacles on this decision, and I can
only imagine there are quite a few more to come.
Well, first, let me clarify. We have had a desire to adopt
since before we had our first child. In fact, we were in the beginning stages
of adoption when we found out we were expecting Olivia. Needless to say, that
put our plans on hold, to a degree, but is has always been a part of our “bigger”
plan. After much discussion, much travel (we’ve been to Sierra Leone a combined
five times since last February), and crunching the numbers – as small as our
numbers tend to be, they still need crunching – we feel ready to advance in
this goal.
Now, having been involved in The Raining Season (TRS – which
runs an orphanage in Sierra Leone) for a few years, now, we have gotten to know
quite a few dear friends who have chosen a similar path. Some have decided it
was better to support the orphanage prayerfully and financially, but not adopt;
others have adopted some of the most beautiful children from TRS; while the
rest of us are in the process of pursuing this elusive prospect. We have
watched friends’ heartbreaking challenge as the doors open… then close
suddenly. We have friends just a few blocks away who have chosen to adopt four
kiddos… AT ONCE! … and add them to the two they already had.
I’m still blown away at how well they’ve done with a family
of eight in their tiny little house.
Okay, I’m going all over the place, again… I guess I wanted
to note that we were prepared for some of the financial hardship that comes
with pursuing adoption. We’ve read numerous books and articles about what it
means to adopt and the challenges therein. We’ve even read some brutally honest
blogs about what mothers are going through trying to raise a child with a
differing family history before finding a stable home. It’s intense, and I’m a
little nervous.
What I didn’t expect – at least, not to the extent we’ve
been getting it, lately – was the amount of critique we’ve gotten from our own
family. While we do experience some tension between family on occasion, I’ve
always thought that was par-for-the-course, so to speak. What has surprised me,
as of late, is the accusation that because of our desire to go to Africa and
our desire to adopt, we have somehow caused a “rift” in the family. What’s even
weirder is the fact we didn’t know there was any more tension than usual until
we asked our family to support our decision to adopt.
NOTE: we did not ask for financial support, but it still
came with a backlash of criticism and questioning our motives.
While it breaks our hearts, it does not even weaken our
resolve to continue on this journey to expand our family.
